‘How’s it goin bro?’

This is really how I got these scars

Evaporate (or whatever it’ll take for you to disappear) you cloud. Your need to patch Mafia II is annoying. Just. Let. Me. Play. Ha ha, you probably thought I was screaming at the sky just then, didn’t you? Don’t mind me; I’m just venting a little STEAM.

I haven’t been this frustrated about compulsory downloads since the release of Half-Life 2. I remember that traumatic evening-morning. The installation was fraught with disaster. Half-Life 2 spanned five discs and it took me a while to figure out the CD key (it wasn’t very clear which string of numbers were needed for the validation). Lots of waiting later the installed files needed to be un-encrypted via Steam’s time-consuming antics. After that, an additional couple of hundred megabytes needed to be downloaded and this was in the days of dial-up so I sat up (and sat down) all night, waiting.

I couldn’t sleep—and I had work that morning—so I brought blankets and my pillow to the lounge and systematically checked my PC every 300 seconds, counting down (I needed to contain my excitement and frustration somehow).

By early morning Half-Life 2 was ready to play. There was enough time between breakfast and my shower to live vicariously through Gordon Freeman as he commutes to City-17 and then struts his stuff past some Combine guards who were itching to whack me with their stun prods.

I scrounged a few minutes of game time at the most. I had to work all day too (oh that was torture). At least I was able to play on when I got home.

When broadband came along I thought I would never experience another agonising installation. *cough* *cough* So I might have helped exceed our monthly download quota and that may have shaped our net speed to the point where it’s quicker to catch a V/Line to Footscray, endure a train to St Albans, walk to VU, log on there and then check my email than simply opening a web page here.

Seriously, Mum’s mourning her spoiled food on Cafe World, Dad’s agitated because he actually uses the net for work, Sheridan’s just a moody bitch, Callan’s being brainwashed by a monk who believes that we’re all gonna die and become God in 2012 and Elizabeth laughed when I mentioned that Mafia II was still patching.

And it is still patching at speeds as condescendingly slow as 3-9 KB/s. In terms of patch completion, we’ve gone from 98% to 99% and then back to 98% and at the time of writing this the current number is 99%.


I think we’re in day three now. If I were smart I wouldn’t have over-downloaded (I blame StarCraft 2). If I were smarterer then I would have let Steam patch away over night.

This week is going to drag (the net resumes awesome normality on Saturday); hopefully Mafia II is playable before then.

Steam crashed. Now it says that Mafia II is up to 98% at 9.5, nope, 6.3, nope, 2 KB/s!


It’s day three now. Everything has downloaded and patched but now Steam refuses to log in. And when it does log in it crashes upon launching Mafia II. Yaaaargh.


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