Damn you, Duriel. Damn you to Hell!

Diablo 2 was heaps cool until they met Duriel, the Prince of Pain. LovelyLadyLocks has been incinerating every demon that stands in her way while Hellbro the barbarian leans against the nearest wall, which reeks of mildew, sorting his inventory.

 

‘Hurry up,’ Lovely hurls several fireballs at a swarm of black locusts. ‘I need mana—what are you doing?’

‘Shit, I hit the windows key,’ Hellbro says as a new swarm gather around him. ‘I’m not going back in there, you know. And I don’t care how many town scroll portals or bloody health potions you have we’re not at a high enough level to take that dude on. Gah, fuck off. How can an axe get rid of locusts?’

‘Stop swearing.’

 

LovelyLadyLocks was slain by Mummy

 

‘Fuck? How did that—’

‘Those zombies poisoned you. And there’s …’ Hellbro swings his balanced axe of replenishing and cleaves the undead monster in two. ‘There’s things shooting out of the wall too.’

‘Cast a portal for me, pleeeeeease.’

‘No.’

‘Why?’

‘I’m not carrying any.’

‘Luke.’

‘What?’

‘Press “i” for a sec.’

‘No I’m busy hacking this—’

‘Luke!’

‘What?’ Hellbro sprints to the doorway and pelvic thrusts near corpses to conjure mana, health and rejuvenation potions. ‘There’s nothing—’

‘What’s that then, hmm?’

‘Oh that,’ Luke laughs. Hellbro opens his tome of town portal and doesn’t cast magic missile.

A swirly blue oval appears. LovelyLadyLocks steps out of it.

Lovely snatches all of the potions from the ground. ‘So, ready for the next false tomb?’

‘I will be when I take my health things back.’

‘You can have them back if you hand over the gold you took from my body before.’

‘You dropped like 300 gold. There was so much crap around here I thought it was from that chest.’

‘Give it. Now.’

‘Remember that 10,000 I gave to you to hire that shitty mercenary.’

‘But you’re rich!’

‘Because I don’t die every 5 minutes.’

‘Is that right?’

‘Yeah, that’s right.’

 

LovelyLadyLocks has expressed hostility towards you

 

‘Katie, what are you doing?’

‘Burn, you pathetic worm. Burrrrrrrn.’ LovelyLadyLocks creates explosive spheres of fire and aims them at Hellbro.

‘Umm, those fireballs …’

‘Are they even hurting you?’

Hellbro sprints to LovelyLadyLocks and hits her with his axe of replenishing .

‘Wait, wait, wait.’

 

LovelyLadyLocks was slain by Hellbro

 

PvP is fun

 

Katie stands and stretches. ‘Ah, dinner time.’

‘Yeah, bugger this,’ Luke says as he saves and exits. ‘I’m going to play Torchlight.’

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s