I only played the Elder Scrolls Online beta for 20 minutes before logging out. Imagine playing a bastardised version of Skyrim where the melee and ranged combat is devoid of fluid motion and those satisfying kinetic hits are exchanged with repetitive time-based attacks that reek of the massively multiplayer genre.

If it’s not already obvious the new Elder Scrolls has also taken a few paces backwards in terms of eye candy. Texture depth is compromised to accommodate for a more stable online environment. The ordeal of fetch quests and grinding under these lacklustre conditions is dull. It was just a beta though. Maybe I’m being too harsh on an unfinished product? If I was to speculate on how long it will take to go free-to-play I would say twelve months after international release. Time will tell if I end up eating those words.

For those who still play Star Wars: The Old Republic there are now playable starfighters. Sadly, piloting a ship and blasting scum should’ve come sooner. In a server far, far away lives my Twi’lek Jedi Consular …

Teamwork puts me off playing MMORPGs. Yeah, call me antisocial (do it), but I hate it when you reach an instance and you need X players to progress to the next bit. Sure, play with strangers but it all goes to waste when people teabag corpses and stymie your chances of whatever it is the game throws at you. Online gaming in this context loses its appeal as quick as a Gungan campaigning for a political position. It’s just not for me.

So … I re-installed Skyrim because I never finished the main quest (and I needed to cleanse the mind palace). My current build is an Argonian battlemage which is different because I never really dabbled with the magicka stuff before. Enchanting weapons and armour is a fun diversion—every diversion in Skyrim is a fun diversion: ride a horse up a cliff face until it rolls to its death; stack corpses in the middle of Whiterun; and pluck herbs from bushes while bunny hopping.

Someone should perfect a weapons mod where my dino-dude can smash a horde of draugr with ballistic fists! My bipedal lizard loves zapping deer with sparks though. Rabbits too. There’s nothin like charred rabbit leg in the morning, mmm-mmmmm.  Looks like Nirn has a new Sith Lord …


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